


Courage, Like Love

by junko



Series: the distance between us [5]
Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-13
Updated: 2012-03-13
Packaged: 2017-11-01 21:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junko/pseuds/junko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Continues “The Distance Between Us,” despite having thought I was finished with that storyline.  In this installment, Renji wakes up in Byakuya’s bed and has the hardest time leaving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Courage, Like Love

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Some strong language.
> 
> Setting: As this is part of "The Distance Between Us," we are about one week into Renji's vice-captaincy. However, knowledge of the Rescue/Soul Society arc would be helpful.
> 
> Notes: Not sure where I’m going with this. I just can’t seem to leave Byakuya and Renji alone. I should say, too, that I’m not used to writing with no end in sight, soap opera style. Bear with me. 
> 
> Also, I reference my own storylines, but I don’t think it’s necessary to have read those to enjoy this.

 

 

"Courage is like love: it must have hope for nourishment."

 

 

Renji awoke to the oddest sensations. Someone’s slender, taut waist, so smooth and cool, pressed against his own. One of his arms was flung protectively over a broad back, and the fingers of the other were entangled in strands of the finest black hair. Warm breath tickled Renji’s throat, where thin lips rested lightly against his collarbone.

Everything was silk and soft and smelled of the finest jasmine and…sex.

When realization hit, he scrambled back so fast that he fell off the futon onto the floor.

Gah! The captain’s bed! He was in the captain’s bed!!

He sat on the hard wooden floor, naked. Too stunned for a moment to do anything more than stare at the impossible scene in front of him. Despite Renji’s forceful extraction, Byakuya had barely moved. He lay in the rumpled sheets, his unbound hair obscuring most of his face. Still, Renji could see long, almost feminine lashes, and an expression of utter peacefulness on Byakuya’s usually hard, controlled face. Sunlight kissed the lily-white, porcelain skin of his arms and naked back. Though covers guarded some of the captain’s modesty, Renji noticed hints of the perfect shape hidden beneath them.

He was an incredibly beautiful man.

And his captain.

And Rukia’s brother.

Oh, shit.

Renji scrubbed at his forehead as if trying to erase all the thoughts jittering through his mind. Had they really…? Oh yes, they had. He could hardly forget the feeling of Byakuya’s hands on him -- in him. His entire body ached from the binding spell. Absently, he touched the tender spot on his lower lip where Byakuya had bitten it.

The real question was: what would the captain think of everything in the harsh, bright light of morning?

Considering how drunk Byakuya had been, would he even remember what they’d done?

 _Let’s hope not_ , Renji thought, as he looked around for the scattered bits of his shihakushô. Mercifully, most everything had made into a little pile on the floor at the edge of the bed. As quietly as possible, Renji dressed.

Unfortunately, the last and most important piece was wedged under the prone body of Byakuya himself. Zabimaru, Renji’s zanpaktō, had somehow managed to stay in the bed with them all night, and now Byakuya’s legs were on top of it.

Renji grasped the sheath just below the guard and slowly tugged.

A growl that ended in a snake’s tail’s rattle echoed loudly in Renji’s head.

 _Quiet!_ Renji said, freezing in fear, his fist tightening. _Your_ _energy will wake him._

 _It’s warm here_ , the sword’s oddly timbered voice pouted.

 _Yes_ , a second voice hissed. _We want to stay_.

Renji sighed, settling on the edge of the mattress carefully. His grip on the sword loosened, and he stroked it softly as he continued, _I want that, too, but this man is still a mystery to us. The only thing we know for sure is that he has zero tolerance for rule-breakers. What happened last night was…_

 _Wonderful,_ offered Zabimaru.

_…uh, okay, that’s true, but also at least fraternization. Think about it: a charge of fraternization would end both our careers, his and mine. A stricter interpretation could put me in the guardhouse for assaulting a superior officer. He was drunk. I was sober. This could go very badly. We have to go._

There were no more sounds of protest from Zabimaru as Renji carefully removed the sword from under Byakuya’s body. As the last of the sheath slipped out, Byakuya groaned. Renji tensed, holding his breath, but the captain didn’t wake. He just grunted at turned over.

Renji’s shoulders relaxed, but, despite his better judgment, he wasn’t quite ready to leave the captain’s bed. Gently, he arranged the sheets to cover Byakuya’s shoulders. Then he bent to place a soft kiss on narrow cheekbone. He whispered into Byakuya’s ear, “If you remember anything, for once, let it go.”

Pulling away he couldn’t resist running his fingers though Byakuya’s fine hair one last time. He left the bed with a heavy sigh.

At the door, he stepped into his waraji and tucked Zabimaru into place at his hip. The sun rose among purple and pink striped clouds. He took a moment and leaned on the railing, watching light glint off the tiled rooftops of the Seireitei. So lovely a picture the neat, clean lines made, unlike the dusty, broken alleyways of _Inuzuri._

A sharp intake of breath made Renji turn. A servant loaded down with a breakfast tray had come around the corner. She was a tiny slip of a thing, and she looked at him with wide, terrified eyes. “Lieutenant Abarai, why are you…? Uh, at this hour? Is everything all right with Lord Kuchiki?’

Renji moved to inspect the contents of the various dishes. He shook his head, “He’s not going to want any of that. Nothing pickled at all today. Strong tea, maybe. Later. Much later.”

“But…”

He put his hands on the servant’s shoulders and gently turned her back in the direction she’d come. “A wise person would give the master of the house a wide berth this morning.”

“Is the lord ill?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Renji said.

“Should I fetch the medical—“

“No,” Renji cut her off sharply, as he continued to steer them both further away from the captain’s quarters. “Just brew your strongest tea and bring a cold compress for his head. Oh, and if you want to be really useful? Send someone over to the eighth division barracks to ask Nanao Ise for her captain’s special remedy.”

“Special remedy…?” The servant girl turned to look at him, eyes the size of saucers. “For his lordship? Are you implying…?”

“Are you?” Renji stared the woman down until she turned bright red and shook her head so violently that the baskets on the tray rattled. He continued, “If Nanao asks – and she won’t because she understands the value of discretion in these matters – tell her it’s for me.”

“Uh….”

“Don’t stand there. Go!”

Finally startled into action by the sheer volume of his command, the woman scurried off to do his bidding. Hopefully she’d caught his meaning and wouldn’t spread the news of Byakuya’s hangover throughout the entire Soul Society.

“Are you trying to kill me with all that noise, lieutenant?”

Renji smacked his forehead in frustration. “Ai, Taicho! Why are you out of bed?”

He turned to see Byakuya leaning heavily against the doorframe, his eyes squinting in the bright sunlight. He’d pulled on a silk robe, but, without the kensiken in place and his hair loose, he looked… tousled. It was a breathtakingly sexy look.

“Am I not allowed out?” Byakuya asked grumpily.

“If were up to me, no. Not today.”

A grunt that could almost pass as amused followed by: “I heard something about tea and a cold compress?”

“With any luck, they’re already on their way, sir.”

“Oh,” he muttered, sounding a little surprised and impressed. “I see I can trust you to take excellent care of my affairs.”

Was there extra meaning in the words or was Renji imagining it? “Uh, of course. It’s my job, isn’t it?”

Byakuya turned his head in Renji’s direction, and seemed consider something. Renji felt the weight of his attention and tried, unsuccessfully, not to blush. He covered his discomfort by pulling his hair from his eyes. Of course, without anything to hold it back, it flopped in front of his face again instantly. The captain continued to watch him intently, but if he intended to say something more on the matter, he must have decided against it.

“Sir?”

Byakuya raised a hand to shield his face. “Is the sun always so unflinchingly bright?”

Renji laughed, the tension draining. “No, but I have it on good authority it’s extra glaring when you’re nursing a wicked hangover.”

“I think my head may actually explode.”

“It’s never happened yet,” Renji said with a smile, crossing the distance to stand in front of his captain. “You’d be the first. If it does, should I have your body sent to research and development?”

“Gah,” Byakuya sneered.

“Come, Captain. Get out of the sun. Trust me, the last thing you need is to get more dehydrated.”

A thin eyebrow arched and a small smile tugged at the corner of Byakuya’s mouth. “Do I want to know how it is that you’re so knowledgeable on this particular subject?”

“No, sir, you don’t.”

#

 

They stood in front of the captain’s bed for an awkward moment. The sheets were a mess. In fact, if he thought about it too hard, Renji could smell his own sweat covering everything and mingling with the foreign, delicate scent of Byakuya’s body. “Uh,” Renji said finally, waving in the direction of the floor cushions, “Why don’t you settle over there, sir. I’ll fetch you some water and—take care of things.”

 _Shit_ , Renji thought, as Byakuya moved stiffly over to where he’d indicated. _I’m never going to get out of this alive._

There was, at least, a jug of cool water in the washroom. There was also, left in plain sight, a jade container of something that smelled like sandalwood. Oh! Renji nearly dropped the expensive jar when memories returned to him in a hot rush. The… lube! Gah! He was tempted to hide it somewhere, drop it into the laundry basket, or fling it out the window. Instead, after a few frantic seconds, he simply returned it to where he found it, on counter next to the basin.

Surely, if Byakuya had such things, he had other lovers.

Huh.

The thought of others made Renji frown, and elicited a light snarl from Zabimaru. Who would the captain…? No, no. Stop right there. Jealousy was really stupid and useless, considering that it wasn’t as though Renji was hoping for a rematch.

Well, actually, it would be fun to try to top him yet… No! Those were foolish thoughts. He shook his head to clear it, and tried to re-focus on the task at hand.

Finding a drinking bowl, he splashed water into it and brought it out to Byakuya. “Drink this,” he said, glaring at him, angry about unknown lovers. Crouching down, he pressed it into Byakuya’s hands, “Slowly, or you’ll barf.”

Byakuya looked sort of stunned and horrified by that suggestion, and eyed the bowl with trepidation.

“Seriously, though, drink it,” Renji ordered, turning to take care of the bed next.

As Renji pulled up the covers, smelling of sex and men, his mind couldn’t resist returning to the question of who else Byakuya might be sleeping with. Would it be another captain of the Gotei 13? Was there anyone that Byakuya even got along with? There was that frail, pretty, white-haired noble, Captain Ukitake… there were possibilities there, Renji supposed. He’d stopped by to chat a few times. They seemed friendly enough, though it was usually Ukitake that did all the talking. Still, they were both of the same class, and somehow Renji didn’t think it would be difficult to catch the slender, sickly captain and pin him down. There would be a nice ying and yang of hair, too, but on the flipside, it would be almost an overdose of pretty.

Renji wadded the top sheets into a tight ball and tossed them to the floor near the foot of the bed. No, it wouldn’t be Ukitake. That guy was clearly with Kyōraku, if he was with anyone.

Maybe it was a woman the captain entertained? But Renji couldn’t imagine Byakuya pursuing someone of a lower rank. And, with women, there would have to be some chase, some courting… dates. So that left who? The captain of the Fourth Division -- Unohana, was it? No, no, no… if she wasn’t asexual, she was the biggest dark horse ever. That pretty much covered all the female captains… oh, wait, there was Soi-Fēng, but she was a lesbian, clearly.

Now, what was it Matsumoto had told him about the captain’s wife yesterday? A scandal about the fact she wasn’t noble, but from some _Rukongai_ district. So, what could that mean? That Byakuya went slumming for his dates?

The bottom sheets came up so hard, they nearly tore.

“Are you trying to kill my bed for some reason, Renji?” Byakuya snapped.

Renji looked at his hands, which were wrapped in tight fists around the sheets. With a breath, he deliberately loosened his grip. “Oh. Sorry. I was just… thinking.”

“Well, don’t. You’re wrecking the furnishings.”

“Right. Sorry,” he said over his shoulder. He gathered everything into his arms and was just trying to figure out what to do with the soiled sheets when the servant girl reappeared at the door. When Renji came to take her tray from her, she looked especially fearful. “Let’s trade,” he suggested. Dropping the sheets at her feet, he took hold of his side of the tray.

“Um,” she hesitated, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of leaving serving to someone like Renji.

“I can pour tea,” he said, though her expression made it clear she didn’t believe him for a moment. “Did you get the special item?”

“It’s on its way,” she said, demurely, though she didn’t relinquish the tray.

Renji narrowed his eyes. “Don’t make me wrestle you for this. I’ll win.”

His playful sneer must have frightened her, because she stifled a little shriek and let go. She held her ground, however. She peered over his shoulder into the darkened bedroom, and asked, “Is there anything else you need, my lord?”

“No, thank you. But you could get something for the lieutenant’s hair, a binder or something. You do prefer it that way, don’t you, Renji?”

“Oh. Uh…” Renji looked at the servant, suddenly prickled with guilt. He had no problem bullying her when it came to fetching things for the captain, but she very likely came from a much better family than he did. No, not _likely_ ; certainly. “I can’t ask you to….”

“I insist,” Byakuya’s voice was clear. “I can’t have an untidy vice-captain, now can I?”

“No, sir,” Renji said. To the servant, he said softly, “I’m sorry. Listen, I’ve got a little basket in my quarters. String – really, anything will do.”

She bowed, scooped up the sheets, and left.

“I could have taken care of that myself, you know,” Renji grumbled, as he set the tray on the floor in front of where Byakuya leaned against the wall. Sprawled, was almost a better term. Byakuya sat, rather than knelt, and his legs were half-crossed, sloppily. The silk robe hung open loosely, exposing hints of chest and slender waist. A hem of embroidered humming birds danced haphazardly over his thighs, revealing strong, powerful muscles of naked legs. Trying not to gape like an idiot, Renji offered the captain the towel that had been soaked in cool water.

Byakuya took it in both hands and dropped his forehead into it. With the towel over his face, he let out a sound between a sigh and a moan.

The noise reminded Renji uncomfortably of last night.

To distract himself, he poured the captain’s tea. Of course, once again, there was only one teacup. He grunted. Not this time, he thought ruefully. Renji had enough of watching Byakuya drink by himself. Reaching to the floor, he retrieved the bowl of water he’d given the captain earlier. He drained the remains, and filled himself a nice cup of tea. But when hot china touched his bruised and cut lip, he shouted, “Ah! Son of a bitch!”

Byakuya peeked out from behind the towel.

Renji waved off his concern, and pressed the back of his hand against his lip. He looked away, embarrassed by his outburst over such a little thing.

Though still holding the towel to one eye, Byakuya caught his wrist, and pulled it away. “Your lip is split,” he observed.

“Oh, uh. Um… yeah,” Renji eventually agreed, turning his face away to look at the floor, the bookcase, the door – anywhere, but into Byakuya’s probing gaze.

A hand, cool and wet from the towel, grasped Renji’s chin. A gentle tug turned him back to face Byakuya. The captain was frowning, his hair falling in front of his face in a way that made Renji want to pull it back for him.

Gently, Byakuya’s thumb traced the edges of Renji’s lower lip. Renji froze, unable to even breathe.

Byakuya drew closer to inspect the injury, and Renji started pull away reflexively, only to discover himself held firmly in place. His entire body flushed with heat, and his mouth opened slightly at Byakuya’s touch.

The captain’s nose was enough to kiss. Oh, and those long lashes, slightly downcast….

“Someone bit you,” Byakuya determined, suddenly looking up and capturing Renji in a penetrating stare. Bottomless gray eyes seemed to suck Renji deep inside.

“Someone did,” Renji agreed cautiously, nervously. His voice was little more than a hoarse whisper.

_Did Byakuya know it was him? Did he remember?_

Byakuya’s eyes narrowed and his brows drew together. For a long moment, Renji waited in silence, the only noise the beating of his own heart. Then, quite suddenly, almost angrily, Byakuya released him.

Byakuya’s eyes slid away, “Just don’t bring any of that filth back here.”

“What?!”

“You heard me,” Byakuya said coldly, before returning his face to the towel.

“I heard what you said, but it made no sense. What are you talking about ‘filth’? What the fuck is that even?”

“Watch your mouth,” Byakuya said quietly, but firmly. “You know what I mean. I know where you were last night.”

“What? You clearly do not. I was--” _here_ , oh! And also at the Eleventh. _He thinks Yumichika bit my lip? He almost bit something else off, but not my goddamn lip!_ Renji scrubbed his face in frustration. Of all the shit to remember, Byakuya has to get the image of him and Yumichika and Ikkaku stuck in his head?

To be fair, it must have been a sight, the three of them, naked and all tangled together.

“Filth, huh? You mean my friends? That’s great,” Renji muttered. It took some effort, but Renji was able to stuff the urge to tell Byakuya exactly where to stick his opinion. It was particularly grating because two finer warriors you would never find, and both Ikkaku and Yumichika wouldn’t hesitate for a second to protect any captain with their lives --even if that captain thought they were unworthy or dirty or whatever. But it wasn’t worth trying to explain that to Byakuya. Renji shook his head. “You know what? Don’t worry about it. We’re not….” He lifted his hands and then dropped them with a frustrated sigh. “That’s not a regular thing.”

“Good.” Byakuya peered over the towel. “I expect better behavior from you now that you’re at the Sixth, you understand?”

Renji glared back. After that rude comment about his friends, he was supposed to listen to a lecture on being an officer and a gentleman? Seriously? From the guy with the hangover? “Sure. No problem.”

“Hmmm,” Byakuya set the towel down on the tray. “You know you came very well recommended,” he said. “But there were a few detractors. Aizen and Ichimaru seem to think you’re difficult to manage.”

Renji rolled his eyes. He almost wished they could go back to Byakuya’s hands on his face. As awkward as that was, it was better than having to have a discussion of his past sins. “Yeah, well, they would.”

“What was your problem there?”

Everyone knew what happened in the Fifth. He’d kicked Gin Ichmaru, his commanding officer, in the ribs, cracked a few hopefully, and then ended up in the guardhouse over it. But that wasn’t what Byakuya was really asking, though. He wanted to know why the fight had started. That was a question Renji could hardly answer for himself, so he shrugged, “I don’t know, okay? I’ve been told I have a problem with authority.”

“Do you?”

“No,” he insisted quickly. “Okay, well, not with everyone. Just them -- and really, just him.”

“Which one?”

Zabimaru did not like Aizen, but he’d never told a soul about that, because, frankly, it sounded kind of crazy, even to Renji. His feelings about Aizen’s former lieutenant, however, were pretty clear. “Ichimaru,” he admitted with a sigh.

“I thought as much,” Byakuya said, taking a cautious sip of tea. “That’s understandable, then.”

Was it? Was Byakuya admitting disliking one of his colleagues? Or, that in certain cases insubordination was acceptable? Somehow, Renji figured it had to be the former.

“How about Zaraki? Did you get along with him?”

Renji gave a slight smile. “You don’t so much ‘get along’ with Kenpachi Zaraki as stay out of his way. But, I guess he was what I needed.”

“Which was?”

“A firm hand.” A blush crawled up Renji’s neck, suddenly realizing how awkward that sounded after last night. “Uh… that is… I mean….”

But, before Byakuya could comment or Renji could dig himself deeper, a shadow at the doorway had Renji on his feet. He sprang up and met Captain Kyōraku nosing cross the threshold.

Renji blocked the entrance forcibly. “Captain! What brings you here?”

Kyōraku wore his gaudy pink kimono and a broad goofy grin. “Ha, Renji. I hardly recognize you with your hair like that.” He lifted the edge of his straw hat and titled his head as though inspecting him. “It’s a good look. It’ll be a hit with the ladies, though harder for you to fight, I think. Anyway, I came to check on our patient. The one for whom the remedy was requested.”

“As you can see, I’m fine.”

“My dear boy, you’re not fooling anyone with that nonsense. My delicate concoction wouldn’t suit someone of your hearty constitution.” Kyōraku tried to peer around Renji’s shoulders into the room. “Now let me see him.”

Renji straightened up and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I’m afraid I insist. The remedy is for me. I asked your lieutenant bring it, sir, not to trouble you with my problems.”

“My, my, what a loyal guard dog you are. How long have you been in service to the captain? It can’t be more than a week.”

_One week, three days, and if things don’t improve soon, it might be the end of it today._

Kyōraku’s lopsided grin broadened and a thick eyebrow arched curiously. “So… You really won’t let me pass? Not even to converse with a _peer_?”

Oh. Right. _Peer , as in fellow nobleman._ Damn, he really should step aside. He was wildly out-ranked, out classed. But, it wasn’t like Byakuya couldn’t hear every word. If he wanted Renji to let Kyōraku inside, he’d say, wouldn’t he? Renji shook his head. “I’m sorry. If you don’t want to give the remedy to me, that’s fine, but there’s nothing to see here, sir.”

“Really? Because, it’d such be a heavy disappointment to leave without being able to tease Mr. Byakuya in person about this rather startling ailment of his.” He said, loud enough to be heard indoors. Then, to Renji, conspiratorially, Kyōraku asked, “How did it happen, by the way? I can only imagine he must have slipped and fallen into a barrel of sake.”

Renji couldn’t quite stifle a laugh. Brushing back his stubborn hair, he shook his head with a smile, “I can’t say.”

“Such loyalty!” Kyōraku clasped his hands over his heart, but then shook a finger at Renji teasingly. “But, I will get this out of you some day, Renji, my boy -- some day. Mark my words. Perhaps I will send Nanao on a secret mission and she can use her feminine wiles on you. She could bring you to the brink, and then withhold her precious charms until you confess everything…!”

Renji had never thought of the no-nonsense Lieutenant Ise that way before in his life. The image left him speechless. “Uh.”

“Ah, I see it would tempt. You blush very prettily. For that gift, I will give you this,” from some hidden pocket of the kimono, Kyōraku produced a small glass vial containing a neon pink concoction. After handing it over, he turned a waved a lazy good-bye, “I do hope you feel better soon, Renji.”

“Wha--? Oh, yes. Thank you,” he said. And, then, because they both knew the truth and Kyōraku had been decent enough not to pull rank with any seriousness, Renji added, with a slight bow, “Thank you very much for your kindness to the Sixth, sir.”

Kyōraku paused and lifted his straw hat again to give Renji a curious look over his shoulder. “It’s good to see him so well cared for. Hopefully, he appreciates all you do for him.”

Renji scratched the back of his neck. That remained to be seen. However, just to continue their game, he insisted one last time, “I’m doing this for me, remember!”

“Ha!” Kyōraku laughed, waving over his shoulder. His flowered kimono billowed in the spring breeze as he made his way under the portico and back in the direction of his own division.

Renji turned back inside to discover Byakuya pressed against the wall beside the door. “Thank goodness,” Byakuya sighed. “If you’d let Shunsui in, he’d never leave.”

“He’s not that bad,” Renji insisted.

“Oh yes he is. You have no idea,” Byakuya closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. “You haven’t had to suffer though interminable family dinners with him. Worse, I have to put up with all his taunts and stupid jokes. He’s a second son.”

“Yeah, that’s rough,” Renji said, failing at sounding sympathetic in the least. He held out the vial of the pink stuff, which glowed eerily in the morning light. “He brought you this, though. You should try it.”

“What is it?”

“Cure for what ails you.”

Byakuya took the vial. He uncorked it and sniffed it cautiously. “Eh,” he said, jerking away. “You’ve had this?”

“Me? No,” Renji said, leaning against the doorframe, enjoying the feeling of early spring sunlight warming his back. “We barely got treated for major injuries in the Eleventh. You’d be mocked mercilessly if you couldn’t push through a simple hangover.”

“And yet you think I need it.”

There was that edge in Byakuya’s voice, the one that prickled at any imagined injury to pride or station. “Maybe you don’t,” Renji said with a shrug. He glanced out at the quad, and said, “But, if I had the opportunity, I’d take it. Why not? In fact, if it were me, I’d chug-a-lug that sucker, crawl back into my nice, clean bed, and sleep it off the rest of the day. Then I’d let my handsome and extremely capable lieutenant take care of everything.”

A little snort of laughter, and then: “This is your expert advice?”

“Yep, take it or leave it, Captain. I wouldn’t think any less of you.”

“You wouldn’t?”

Something in Byakuya’s tone made Renji turn back to his captain. It was almost as if it mattered, Renji’s opinion of him. “No, sir,” he said honestly. “I wouldn’t.”

Byakuya plugged his nose, and knocked back the disgusting-looking concoction in one gulp. “Ugh. That is vile,” he said, with a shiver. He handed the empty container to Renji and made his way to the bed. “The Sixth is yours. Don’t break anything. Or… make too much noise.”

“Yes, sir.”


End file.
